I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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