2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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