please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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