is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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