I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
