You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
