Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's shark week go big or go home
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
