I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize