oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
