If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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