You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
