I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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