Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
