Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
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Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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