Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
