That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
