when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize