Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
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I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.