She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk