If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
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then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional