Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?

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(703): I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do? http://tfl.nu/dze2

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(703): View more from Virginia

just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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(703): just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/c4j4

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?

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(617): What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you? http://tfl.nu/svb6

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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(704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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(402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i

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(217): View more from Illinois

Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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(217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.

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(931): I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then. http://tfl.nu/2mcz

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(815): View more from Illinois

Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!

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(815): Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie! http://tfl.nu/p3px

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(408): View more from California

4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.

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(408): 4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/v3bi

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(585): View more from New York

Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.

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(585): Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester. http://tfl.nu/c1r2

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(248): View more from Michigan

There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."

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(248): There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding." http://tfl.nu/ytsu

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot

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(336): I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot http://tfl.nu/utnt

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(612): View more from Minnesota

just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?

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(612): just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately? http://tfl.nu/tgsa

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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(613): I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students. http://tfl.nu/r17p

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(206): View more from Washington

Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja

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(206): Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja http://tfl.nu/m2bw

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