i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart