dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
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I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.