oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
