Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
