wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
