forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
