So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize