Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
