spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I would fuck him just for his dog
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