I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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