420 ftw
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
