Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize