Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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