I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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