Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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