she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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