My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
