I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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