It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
