I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
