they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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