We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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