...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
