Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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