I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dicks are not precious.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
