Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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