Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Randomize
