Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
is it fun? or sober?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
