he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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