We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
