So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
