Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
