we have officially mastered the walk of shame
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
