Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
