we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
