It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
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whose parrot is this?
I could fuck to npr.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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