i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
