I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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