Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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