Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
