wanna go halves on a baby?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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