This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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