he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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