When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Barsexuality is the new black.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
