He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
